Concept envy, and feeling defeated

This is the sort of confessional post that I feel iffy about writing, because it betrays my well-established gruff and grumbly persona and exposes my soft, vulnerable under-belly. All right. Let’s get this out of the way so I can get some actual sleep tonight, and then maybe try to see where my brain goes with writing tomorrow.

Lately, and by lately I mean for quite a few months now, I have felt defeated. I haven’t had ideas popping into my thoughts like before. My projects have been gathering cobwebs like it’s their job. As I said earlier today: I feel less like a writer as of lately and more like someone who wrote here and there. I feel defeated.  Continue reading

The What-If and Why-Not-Me monsters are out in full-force tonight

Or “I should really be getting some sleep, but drowsy medications (save for Nyquil) have the opposite effect on me,” with just a dash of “I feel guilty for what I perceive as neglecting my writing, and Misadventures in Fiction.”

Let me start by getting this out of the way: I do not handle being sick well at all. I’m a total wimp about illness. Case in point? I have an upper respiratory infection, but my behavior suggests a diagnosis of Ebola, primary amoebic meningoencephalitis (PAM for short. Google it, and be amazed/horrified.), and a dash of bird-swine-fish flu for good measure. I can’t stress enough how I should probably be sleeping right now.

There’s a murky, unpleasant place in my mind, full of generally unpleasant things. Most people have similar places somewhere in their thoughts (I’m fairly confident in this statement, anyway). On nights like this, some of its denizens–covered in sharp spines, and equipped with sharp claws and rotten, twisted fangs–creep out and torment me. There are plenty of different variations on these wee mental beasties. Continue reading

Seven Deadly Sins applied to Writing – Envy

Envy is a universal thing, and I would go so far as to say if you are a conscious, sentient being of any sort (I wouldn’t dare discriminate against self-aware computer systems, alien lifeforms, and anything else along those lines), you have experienced some form of envy at one point or another.  I mean, you’re welcome to disagree to your heart’s content.  You know, in the same way I can point at you disagreeing and laugh derisively.

However, these are the seven deadly sins of writing and not the seven deadly sins applied to everything, ever, in the history of ever (because while that would give me loads of blogging potential, it would get tired and I would get tired and, frankly, no one would enjoy that; free torture for all?).  Just to get this out of the way: I actually dreaded writing this particular entry, because it’s one of the bigger ones (let’s be honest, here; writing Lust is going to make me want to jump off a bridge, too), and there’s so much Envy entails it’ll take a good bit of writing to begin with.  And then possibly self-immolation.  Who knows?  This will take a look at how writers can be envious of other writers’ success, their writing, their following (hoo boy), and so on.

Continue reading