It’s that time again. Time to dust off Misadventures In Fiction, evicting spiders and so forth, and return to giving it the attention it intermittently deserves. While I certainly can’t claim to have forgotten this site–quite the contrary, in fact, as I think about what I could be writing almost daily–I must admit I haven’t done the best job of keeping it alive. Or the most mediocre job, really.
However, I am moved back to Carnegie as of a couple months ago (living partially out of boxes and bags is moved back in, right?). Life has gone on, and in ways I couldn’t have necessarily predicted but I’m entirely okay with (and no, I am not suggesting I won the lottery, so don’t start asking for yachts or anything). Tonight, when I have an overnight shift to work tomorrow and relatively unlimited time to stay up, I find myself frustrated. I am, as often is the case, in the throes of a creative funk.
I was considering participating in NaNoWriMo this year, but in a way I think that’s the opposite of what I need. My problem is a bit of a simple mess, really. I’ve not written in a long time, because of a mix of things. I started out because I just felt like there was no point. I had a lot of negative distractions. When I finally moved and got somewhat settled in, work took over much of my life. (I know, I know; whine, moan complain.)
And so I am frustrated. A big problem that has been made evident is that I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself when it comes to writing. I don’t want to just free-write, as I get irritated with a lack of direction. I can’t bring myself to focus on anything I’ve been working on (or, rather, had been working on before this past summer went a bit belly-up). I briefly considered going mad, cutting off an ear, and hoping I would suddenly become an artistic genius, but I reconsidered on the grounds that I could just end up a one-eared failure.
Instead of NaNoWriMo, I plan on trying to ease my way back into writing regularly. Not necessarily daily, and not necessarily with big goals in mind (though I do need to get my shit together and work on getting published). November, my birth-month, seems like a great time for that.
Beyond that, I just wanted to make a post to remind the internet I am in fact still alive. And now I’m going to return to my drink (as well as the colored pencils and paper I got out and have neglected up until this point).