Category Archives: Posts of a Rant-like Nature

Why whimsy in my writing?

Posted on by under General Writing-Related Posts, Posts of a Rant-like Nature

Or “Sorry that I’m not sorry for getting up on my soapbox about writing, because this is my blog about writing (which is something, or so I’m told, I’m relatively good at.” Also, this may end up being on long-ass post. I’m still not sorry. Lastly: confetti and shit! This is totally my hundredth post on Misadventures in Fiction, and that’s really damn exciting for me.

I may have woken up with a touch of a hangover, and a slightly bitter taste in my mouth. My sister, her boyfriend, another friend of hers, and I went to Butcher and the Rye (a restaurant/whiskey bar in Pittsburgh, that was rather nice) last night, and I enjoyed three interesting mixed drinks. I swear this detail is relevant, and it’s not just a small reminder to myself on the matter of being more cautious with what liquors I mix (their blood and sand is delightful, by the way). Stepping back after finishing this post, I can honestly say it was just a framing device with the bitter taste, and a not entirely necessary mention of how I’ve grown fond of scotch in the past year. Hindsight and so on.

Moving along. I have been writing a good deal of fantasy since the start of this year, and I’ve recently returned to writing science fiction (with a humorous slant, of course, because I can’t take myself too seriously, and I expect not many other people can either). One result of this (ignoring the rather horrifying page counts I’ve produced) is I’ve found myself thinking back to a comment made in regards to my writing a while back. It obviously struck a nerve to some extent, and I’m sure that a few people who have heard me rant about this before will be wagging their fingers in my general direction later on (should they read this) for letting it gnaw at me now and again. I’ve mentioned it in other posts. The comment in question was part of a rejection, passed along by word of mouth, about how the piece I submitted was well-written. It was rejected because fantasy and science fiction are such antiquated genres. Continue reading →

Unwanted, previously unplanned, hiatus

Posted on by under General Bloggity Stuff, Posts of a Rant-like Nature

Life lessons, I’ve found, are the sort of things that sneak upon me, tap me on the shoulder, then hit me over the head with large, usually blunt, objects.  Sometimes I come away from such events with a fresh, new view on some aspect(s) of my life.  Or a greater appreciation for what I have.

And sometimes I go away from them understanding why I have developed a taste for single barrel whiskey.

For instance: moving out for the first time since going to college is actually a pretty involved and taxing process.  It could be that way because I have spent a fairly substantial amount of time at work, which gave me enough leisure time to eat and sleep in less-than-equal measure (spoilers: a three hour nap between shifts does not constitute a full-night’s rest).

Short version: I’m pretty well burned out from taking on weird, longer-than-expected shifts at work and trying to pack my stuff up for moving it two hours east.  Not a huge move, but let’s all take a moment to consider how I am made up of 10% planning and 90% crippling neuroses.  I would say 25,000% neuroses, one for each year I have been alive, but I’m told by people with a higher-than-my-basic grasp of mathematics you can’t actually exceed 100%.  Which is horseshit.  Moving along…

I’m forcing myself to take an official hiatus until my move happens and I’m at least somewhat settled in.  From there, and getting my new schedule, I’m going to work on making time for actual, proper writing, instead of excusing myself for choosing sleeping over creating (when it could have been the other way around, really).  Through the magic of scheduling posts, this should be appearing on the 12th.  My laptop will, at that point, be two hours away from me because I don’t feel like hauling it back and forth one more time when I will be needing all the space I can use in my car.  It will provide invaluable insulation to keep in the streams of expletives I will no doubt be spewing by the time I reach the seventy-mile line of traffic leading to the Squirrel Hill Tunnels (and if you have ever driven the Parkway East or West in/around Pittsburgh, during any point near rush hour, you are probably nodding in agreement because A TWO LANE HIGHWAY THROUGH A MAJOR CITY IS AND WILL ALWAYS BE A SHITTY IDEA).

Thanks to my regular reader(s) for their patience, apologies to newcomers who might think I’m the flakiest writer in the blogosphere (and can we all just agree that’s a terrible word, because it is), and hopefully I won’t manage to drive off the road in a way that ends in a Michael Bay-esque explosion during my actual move this Friday.

Next post, after this one, should arrive from historical Hollidaysburg.  Unless I decide to post something from my phone between then and now, effectively making this line into a lie.  Potentially scandalous content?  Who knows.

Additional bits that might have made Oz bearable

Posted on by under General Bloggity Stuff, Posts of a Rant-like Nature

I know, I know.  I’m giving this movie way more thought than it deserves.  On the other hand, I had to deal with a day of foodstamps being down and people panicking because there’s going to be snow in western Pennsylvania (a phenomenon so rare in the winter it happens usually at least once a week), so thinking about this sort of thing was a great way to not be moderately to severely homicidal.

Same deal as last time: I’ll put the rest under a cut so the few of you who don’t want this cinematic masterpiece spoiled for you can skip over it.  Continue reading →

Oz, the Lackluster and Disappointing

Posted on by under General Bloggity Stuff, Posts of a Rant-like Nature

I would’ve just added this to my scheduled posts, but I’m at least trying to write this in a time frame that allows it to pretend it’s still relevant.  Some important notes to get out of the way, first.  Yes, I caved and saw “Oz The Great and Powerful” (and every time I type that I want to add a comma in after Oz; you know, so it could be read without all being forced into one breath).  I considered trying to do a spoiler-free review, but it’s honestly not worth bothering.  Instead, most of it will be hidden within a cut.  If you’re really set on not having this “cinematic masterpiece” (those air quotes are the only thing bigger than Disney’s special effects budget for this film, by the way), you’ll want to skip this post completely.  Oh, and I do get a bit winded with my ranting, so you’ve also been warned of that much as well. Continue reading →

Wheel…of…Tax Season!

Posted on by under Posts of a Rant-like Nature

For most people I know, with myself included in that figure so as to artificially inflate it a teensy bit, it’s getting to be tax season.  This largely means digging up any and every piece of paper that might, oh please dear god, add a little bit more to that oh-so-very-lovely tax return (or, in my case from last year, reminding the government I somehow won $1,000 on a scratch-off lottery ticket, which is so going to bite me in the ass).

Fair Warning brand Disclaimer: this post will get a little on the rantier side of things, as it is well-known by those who are familiar with me that money-related stress is my least favorite kind of stress.  Waking up to an obvious, straight-from-90’s-era-horror-movies standing in my bedroom is a pretty close second.  The point is there are many, many other web sites on the internet, and if you’re not a fan of money-related things, or rants, you may want to go elsewhere.  Then come back here for the other posts, obviously.

So anyway, I’m a huge fan of bitching about money.  It’s something most people want more of, nobody ever seems to have enough of, and not very many people are willing to part with unless they’re damn sure it’s going to something good (read as “it’s got to be for personal gain through material possessions, mostly”).  There’s also a whole lot of people who are very good, apparently, at saying how everyone else should use their money for whatever reason (like, say, I don’t know…politicians, for an example).  I’m not an expert with money, either, nor am I an expert with math, numbers, or people.  I am pretty good at opinions, however, since I’ve been giving mine freely since as long as I can remember.  As an important aside before I continue, however, I would like to point out to any eccentric billionaires who happen to find themselves perusing my blog that I am always willing to accept large donations to the Phil Likes Large Sums of Untaxed Cash Even Though He’ll Never, Ever Get Such Things fund.

Here’s what we do: set up a Hunger Games-style selecting process by which so many people are selected to participate in a game show for their tax returns.  I’m going to pause for a moment to note most of the people who know me even a little bit probably expected me to suggest we start killing people, but that’s totally not where I was going with this and if you thought that you should feel bad (but accept I’d probably have gone there under other circumstances, so you were essentially right).  Each player goes individually, which means television networks get to benefit from it lasting a good while and advertising agencies can give viewers ALL the commercials, and completes some sort of task or another (I never said it was a complete idea, and I’m really loving parenthetical asides in this post so I’m sort of sorry for that but not really).

Now for the important bits, though.  The bits that will really bring in viewers.  Each contestant is given a choice at the end of their run on the show.  They can either accept their tax return, as is, no questions asked, or they can pick from one of three mystery prizes behind a door.  The prizes would range anywhere from various denominations of cash to amazing vacation getaways.  What?  That’s boring, you say?  Because the flip-side to that is there would also be rather unfortunate mystery prizes.  Is it a brand new Ford Mustang behind curtain number three?  Nope.  Sorry, Timmy or Tammy Everyperson, it looks like you just forfeited your tax return for a big old bag of beef jerky.  The money players would have gotten in these situations could go to, say, charities of their choice.  Or the national deficit, I guess.  Whatever.  And, because I’m not an entirely horrible person all of the time, everyone would still get to leave with a little bit of money because, let’s face it, nobody really ever wants to live solely off of ramen noodles boiled in their bitter tears (even if it’s a necessary evil sometimes*).

Ultimately, anything that makes money less horrifying and misery-inducing would be pretty cool by my standards, but I really just thinking about the chance to watch, say, a high-paid politician or some crazy-as-all-hell oil baron risk big and end up with something like a boxful of deep-fried cow hearts or something.

*Spicy Pork cooked in vintage Self-Loathing-filled English Major Tears are a personal favorite of mine, as it was one-stop shopping.

Vidya games are the devil

Posted on by under Posts of a Rant-like Nature

There’s a number of things that will instantly, undoubtedly, and always piss me off.  People who chew loudly, with their mouths open?  You bet.  Children running amok while their parents maintain a state of blissful ignorance?  Check.  And then there are people who, no matter the type or specific subset mentioned, consistently rail against video games.  There’s always some connection made between video games and deviant behavior, like it’s some completely unnatural form of entertainment that should be evicted from the planet just as violently as some people seem to believe these games play out.  Why, though?

First and foremost, it is necessary to point out I have been fond of video games for as long as I can remember.  Label me a gamer, if you will.  Ever since I was but a small child with my very first Sega Genesis (which, I should add, I still own to this day), I have loved everything video games have to offer.  They provided a social lubricant to an otherwise-awkward child, another fuel for my desire to come up with my own creative content to share with the world, a pick-me-up for those days that really made me feel like the universe was out to get me, and one more leisure activity.  Nice and simple, with no real negative impacts.

Points I am willing to consider are as follows, but may not be limited to these items (I am notoriously forgetful at times).

  • Video games, like any other leisure activity, can be enjoyed to excess.  Yes.  But that’s not necessarily a wide-spread issue so much as an individual-to-individual one, and most people are able to step away from their games and say, “I need to go do something else”.
  • Video games are being used as a substitute for/are taking the place of reading.  To contrast someone’s desire to read with how often, or if, they play video games seems about as meaningful, to me at any rate, as trying to contrast a person’s desire to read with how often they participate in sports.  Or community outreach programs.  Or breathe.  Do you see what I’m getting?  If a person is inclined to read, or desires to read, the consumption of digital media such as video games isn’t likely to impact that.  If they’re disinclined to pick up a book or two, that’s their decision.  I would like to point out I am very much in favor of people reading, but I feel like a few posts could be made entirely on that subject.
  • Video games lead to violent thoughts and behavior.  What I would say is video games, like many aspects of mass media, lend to the further desensitization to violence, but they’re no more or less guilty than movies in this respect.  I also feel like it takes a special mix of conditions to result in a person who thinks a video game with violent actions should be treated as a guide for how to go about life.

Ultimately, there just seems to be something inherently backwards, something that smacks of an older-times-were-better-ones mentality, about people who treat video games as a form of deviance.

I’ve got to excuse myself now, as I’ve just been informed my princess is in another castle.