Tag Archives: positive thinking

And so it goes: surviving stress…sort of

Posted on by under One Hundred Days of Blogging 2.0

I figured this post could use as much punctuation in its title as possible, and also I forgot about having to write a post still because I worked the closing shift at work and had all sorts of other things on my mind. None of those things are worth mentioning.

It is, however, worth mentioning that this week has kicked my ass in a way that makes me hesitate to sit down, albeit not in a literal sense. There have been plenty of problems and surprise-issues and so on and so on. I am, surprisingly, the least stressed about these things that went wrong that I have been in a long time. It’s uncharacteristic of me, but also extremely liberating. In a moment of I-wish-I-were-joking so profoundly stupid it might make at least one person’s head explode, the biggest concern on my mind is “I’d really like to get some more time to play Five Nights At Freddy’s”. This is because I’m still stuck on Night 4, and so help me God I’m going to beat that ****ing game. You’re on notice, Bonnie. No more sneaking into my goddamn office and murdering me. Subsequent thoughts are focused on wondering why places like Pizza Hut and Taco Bell don’t deliver this late at night, as I am both hungry and lazy.

These thoughts are worthy of note because I’m normally, especially during stressful weeks, prone to dwelling on shit like it’s not only my job, but my job, my favorite hobbies, and a surprisingly effective form of nourishment. I am so far removed from feeling stressed that being stressed and I presently exist in two separate dimensions.

I’m also tired, I still feel sick, and I have some more cleaning to do before tomorrow morning, so that’s enough of this post.

Back to work, and reflections

Posted on by under One Hundred Days of Blogging 2.0

Sometimes I change my mind in the middle of typing a title, panic, and try to backspace and change the words before WordPress automatically generates the Permalink for the post. It doesn’t always work out, and depending on the level of laziness I’m experiencing at the time. Tonight was one of those times when I barely managed to backspace the words and correct the title before that happened, so I’ll chalk that up as a victory. After the day I’ve had, it counts. Trust me.

Things worthy of noting before I dive into the reflections part of tonight’s post:

  • I bought a fountain pen yesterday, and I love it. My handwriting isn’t exactly the most legible at all times, but it’s tremendous fun to write with, so that counts for something probably. Also, I feel a need to use it to write letters, so I’ll probably end up doing that at some point.
  • I’m back to maintaining my journal on a relatively nightly basis, because why not?
  • Alternatively, I’m still feeling pretty burnt out on writing otherwise. Fiction is a slow and painful crawl, and I may actually resort to writing personal essays if that keeps up. However, next month’s Facebook, Twitter, and blogging hiatus (I’m going off of made-up math here, as I’m pretty sure the end of this month will be past the Hundred Days of Blogging 2.0 mark) is sure to help things out. Or drive me mad from addiction withdrawal. Time will tell.

Right. Today kicked my ass something fierce, as I returned to work to face several issues that gathered in a way that resulted in me working a nearly eleven hour day. I realize this is something a good few people do on a regular basis, and it’s nothing really new to me either. It’s more that I just returned from a magnificent week of vacation, and even though I built up to going back to work by cleaning up around the house over the days prior to this return I still was not ready for quite this much…well, work. I’m a weird mix of exhausted, hungry, and grumpy (that last one is from a headache, which I can confirm is thanks to a mix of sinus problems and my unfortunate habit of clenching my jaw when people irritate me).

However, as a counter to such things, I’ve taken to making a point to find magic in little things and writing down thoughts on as much in a notebook. It’s for my eyes only, which removes any pressure I might otherwise feel about it needing to be reader-worthy or publisher-worthy. The kind of freedom this notebook allows me is all sorts of great, and I think it will prove an effective means of staying positive despite my tendency towards cynicism. (What? Me, cynical? No ****ing way, right?)

The idea seemed even more appropriate because I’m writing this stuff down in my Mickey Mouse Moleskine notebook, which is probably a bit magic itself. I’m also using my shiny new fountain pen. I should probably be embarrassed that I spent $20 on a pen, on a whim, but it was easily the highlight of my day yesterday. In other words, it was totally worth it.

A return to making it a great week

Posted on by under One Hundred Days of Blogging 2.0

I’ll not mince words: this week has been pretty Hellish in terms of stress, but I can’t really say much regarding that because a lot of it is my usual introspective bullshit mixed with my capacity for building vast ranges of mountains out of a single molehill.

The good news: I managed to take a nap earlier, and it was glorious…and it gave me time to think things over after waking up, which is that precious time when I have clarity but not so much stress. Good times. Granted, that’s also the window I’m most likely to fall back to sleep in, but now I’m just over-complicating things.

A while back, I posted about my District Leader and his end-of-conference-call mantra of “Go out there and make it a great week”. It’s easy to lose sight of that as a goal, and so I think I need to make it a point to sit down every Sunday (which, really, isn’t so much the end of the weekend so much as the start of a new, potentially promising or terrible week) and put together a list of things that I’m going to try doing to make it a great week. These aren’t goals that must be accomplished, but possible steps towards furthering myself and my week in a positive way. They could be as simple as writing down five things I’m happy about with myself at that particular time to larger changes such as, say, cleaning up the house or whatever. The rewards are built into the actions, making this even better.

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I have two more posts to write before I go to bed tonight because I’m a self-destructive jackass.

A return to journal writing

Posted on by under One Hundred Days of Blogging 2.0

Last night was riddled with technical difficulties from my laptop and a noteworthy absence of motivation to write anything at all. Let the record show that lack of motivation continues to linger tonight, which is frustrating but something I’m also pushing past. Go me (and the impressive, unstoppable power of my stubbornness). I’m presently looking forward to tomorrow, which will be partially spent getting a much-needed (and deserved) haircut and wandering around Barnes & Noble. Any suggestions for graphic novels, or novels in general, are always appreciated. One can never have too many books.

Right. So last night I found myself tremendously frustrated. Writing wasn’t happening in any way, shape, or form. I tried different approaches to A Princess, A Lich, and Some Murders, hoping desperately to add to the current word count but only failing to do so. Eventually, accepting the night as a defeat, I closed Microsoft Word. It occurred to me that I’d not checked on when The Literary Hatchet‘s next deadline was, and since I planned on submitting “Cordelia’s” I figured I should check…only to discover I’d missed said deadline. While I generally try to shy from this word, my reaction was a rather loud and appropriate utterance of “Oh, fuck”.

At some point or another, right before heading to bed, I decided it would be beneficial for me to return to journal writing. Not necessarily as a nightly thing, necessarily. I also happened to have my awesome Discworld/Starry Night crossover cover notebook, which had not seen use since it’s purchase. This, in case it needs repeating, is a crime I am regularly guilty of with notebooks. Making matters worse, I plan on stopping by Barnes & Noble tomorrow. That means I could very well come home with another Moleskine notebook. The journal in question, complete with its Squishable guardian, can be seen below.

Squishthulu guards my deep, dark secrets.

Squishthulu guards my deep, dark secrets.

Not only have I forgotten how helpful keeping a journal is for venting frustrations, but I managed to forget its terrific applications as a means to remind myself of all of the positive things I have going on. Not everything in its pages has to be doom-and-gloom, cloudy-with-a-chance-of-bitching sorts of frustrations (that was a horrible joke and I’m not sorry). It’s a reminder that I’m working on more than just one project presently, and that there will be some nights when my brain simply doesn’t wish to cooperate with me in working on one project or another. Those nights are not the end of the world, nor do they render me any less of a writer.

Suffice it to say, I’m already happy with this decision after only one entry. I can only imagine how therapeutic this will prove in the long run.

How many of you write in journals? Is it on a regular basis, or more sporadic, and is there a particular topic in mind or is it more just whatever’s on your mind at the time?

Banishing the troubles of the universe

Posted on by under One Hundred Days of Blogging 2.0

And some other things. I’ll focus on the bigger topic first before I throw the real surprise out into the world, as it’s not really as substantial as I’d like just yet.

The good outweighed the bad yesterday. I would say it was an entirely terrible day, but there were enough redeeming qualities that I can’t damn all twenty-four hours for the transgressions of only a few. It was, however, enough to leave me feeling flustered and frustrated, stuck in a state devoid of creative thoughts. Such occasions are usually rectified with a healthy dose of my usual stubbornness, but not so much last night.

Before heading to bed, I posted this status:

I have resolved to make tomorrow a significantly better day than today. No over-the-top threats of violence, nor sarcasm to that statement. Just the conscious decision to not be affected by whatever stupid-assery the universe throws my way.

Reminder: I work in retail, and so this was a rather lofty goal. I’m also not always the most positive person in the world (a statement so obvious it’s painful). Keeping that in mind, I went to bed with every intention of making today superior to yesterday by will of not letting the universe ruin my perfectly good mood. Continue reading →

Make it a great week

Posted on by under One Hundred Days of Blogging

The Hell of my last week transitioning from my current dwelling to my new one is upon me. Wednesday and Friday will be nothing but moving things, cleaning up the old place, and probably a fair bit of swearing and frustration. These things happen, I suppose. To be fair, last night gave Brianne and I some powerful motivation to move out of this place in the form of our bathroom door locking. That may sound like a simple problem, except the doorknob for our bathroom is the kind you’d use for an exterior door. And the door trip makes access to the locking mechanism impossible. And the screws holding the wall panel in place next to the door are painted over, thus they are impossible to remove.

Short version of the solution: I had to jam one of those flat metal spatulas used for cake decorating into the door. It took over half an hour, and was pretty damn awful.

I mention this because this week looks horrid, and I will be sure busy, but I know it’s all for a great improvement in my life. It’s going to be a great week.

Before I go on, however, I should mention I’m borrowing these words from my boss. I’m sure he won’t mind. Each Monday morning starts with the promise of an inevitable conference call, and my boss always ends such calls by saying “Go out there and make it a great week”. Normally, I hesitate to admit, those words just signal it’s time for me to hang up and resume whatever task I was focusing on prior to the call. Perhaps it’s the chaos of moving, or the lack of sleep, or even how I’ve been teetering precariously between being sick and being mostly well, but those words resonated with me this morning. I’m about to get a bit soapboxy here, folks, so brace yourselves.

The week, starting with Monday (or Sunday, depending on how your work schedule goes I guess), is only as good as you decide to make it. I’m aware that there are certain things the Universe can throw at a person that will most certainly turn a week to utter shit, but a lot of those things can be reversed or made better. Yeah, it’s a fair bit of effort, but it’s worth it. Right? A bit of work in favor of sanity, success, and so on, or something like that.

I look around me and I see a ton of things that need to be packed and moved. Two couches that need left out for garbage pick-up. What I’m focused on is how my internet and cable set-up dates worked out perfectly. How my customer service experience with Peoples Natural Gas continued to be exceptional even though I won’t have them anymore (my new apartment uses fuel oil instead, which is provided by the landlord; thank god for that). Above all else, how this move will get me the Hell out of my current living situation. Those things and a good few more are all reasons why I’m looking to make this week a great one, even if it is crazy-busy.

Try it yourselves, readers. It may just prove helpful.