Or “This is the first year I’m not particularly excited about E3, and I’m not sure how I feel about that so here’s some semi-related, but mostly not related, shit instead.”

Quick preface here. I’m not writing about E3. What I’m seeing on Twitter, which is a little limited, tells me it’s a lot of the old reworked into quasi-new things, or just out-and-out remakes. Also, I’ve got no business blogging about video game current events here, so I’m going to just blog about old news relating to video games instead. I’m made of bullshit and hypocrisy tonight.

As long as I can remember, which isn’t always a tremendous deal, I’ve loved video games. Before I became so enamored with writing, they went quite nicely with my love of reading and generally being a hermit. The sort of escapism they offered, the way I could save the day despite otherwise unbeatable odds, was, and remains, something I will always enjoy.

Going along with this, I’ve got a small couple confessions. Back before I wanted to be a writer, but after I’d decided I couldn’t quite figure out how to make it as a mad scientist (and anyone who knew me for a good few years of my childhood can attest to my wanting to be a mad scientist), I wanted to become an actor. A voice actor, in fact, who worked on video games. I didn’t want to be the hero, though. Being the voice of saving the day and rescuing princesses from dragons or warlocks or whatever sinister forces had appeared from the shadows.

I wanted to be the voice behind the villain. Hell, I’d have even settled for being the voice of one of the evil henchmen, so long as I didn’t end up relegated to Bad Guy 1. In retrospect, I can’t even remember when I’d started to find glamour and glory in the heart-stomping, fear-inducing monologues. I wanted to rule over legions of minions with an iron fist, inspiring fear wherever I went. Video games have some amazing, compelling villains (and anti-heroes, which is another role I’d totally take if the chance were to arise), and I would almost always find myself feeling a little torn about the final battle (almost, because some final bosses were just real bastards who needed to go down).

My love for voice acting as an art form hasn’t changed at all, but I can’t really say I’m as strongly interested in going into the field now. That being said, it goes without saying that I’d jump at a chance to write for a video game company. Especially for the villains, of course, but I somehow doubt there’s such a highly specific field. There was actually a time, back during the height of my WoW days (I was quite good at being bad at that game, but I enjoyed it anyway), where I really wanted to write raid instances and so on. That’s not to say I wouldn’t jump at the chance to work for Blizzard. I do, however, try to limit myself to only so many delusions of grandeur per day, and my status as God-Emperor of the Known Universe (at least, in my own mind) prevents me from fantasizing about such career offers.

I realize I have no idea just how much would go into writing a video game, but that certainly wouldn’t stop me from blindly running into a project, full of enthusiasm and caffeine (especially in light of Baja Blast being available EVERYWHERE). It’s unexplored territory, from a personal standpoint, and I would probably have more fun with it than I should. Ideally, flaws and implausibilities aside, few things sound like more fun (and more of a cluster-**** (my family reads this, and so I have some limitations on my profanity)) than getting a bunch of creative types together, enjoying some good booze, and putting together what would likely turn out to be the worst video game ever. Or any project, really. Let’s just focus on the fact I’d really enjoy a chance to try drunk-collaborating with people. Moving along.

Much of this, when all is said and done, just goes back to me loving villains. For every knight in shining armor, there’s at least one evil prince or something who could have just as strong, maybe even tragic, story should the time be put into it.

So says the guy who dressed as Captain Hook for Halloween at least three years of his childhood.