Or “Phil had an idea for a short story, but its quite stuck in his head” with strong notes of “If this week were a person, I’d set that bastard on fire and throw him off a goddamn cliff”.

I’ve seen One Hundred Days of all sorts of things. One Hundred Happy Days. One Hundred Days of Self-Improvement. One Hundred Days of Exercise (which I admittedly misread as One Hundred Days of Exorcise, which left me wondering who is going to the trouble of finding so many possessed people). And so on, and so on, ad infinitum. I also know that this Hundred Days of Blogging has been done before, and so I want to set up some basic guidelines for myself. Guidelines that are being made up as I type this, because I am the antithesis to planning and organization. With all of that in mind, let’s kick this off.

Day One – The Things We Can Loosely Refer to as Guidelines

It’s all about the writing, really. The main goal is for me to post one hundred consecutive blog posts over the course of one hundred consecutive days. Just typing that out sounds like some form of torture, so naturally I’m committing to it. Why the hell not? It’ll follow my standard blogging format, which is to say it’ll be about writing, pop culture shit, shameless shilling, and so on. I’ll even try to add pictures every so often, because I imagine that might be a nice change of pace from the usual blocks of text on here. It’s a writing blog, and I’m a writer, but that’s not really an excuse for me to forgo images completely. I’m not sorry for my laziness on this subject, though. Please note that this will also be in addition to the usual postings (writing-related news, This Week in Misadventures, etc…).

Arbitrary goal set for the sake of extra torture: at least twenty of those hundred days need to be short stories. I’m clearly trying to torture myself with this, but at least it’ll be an interesting process.

I’m not setting a specific post limit, but I’m also not going to just post “Day (Whatever)” and be done with it. That’s clearly cheating the system, and I’m too loquacious for that kind of thing to be acceptable.

Mostly, this is going to result in consistent posts (though I’ve been pretty good about that lately) so I don’t fall into the situations from months past and go for weeks without an update, and then compensate-post a dozen things in one night. I would say this marathon of posting is going to be my key to getting a book deal in which I can share all of my hilarious, brilliant commentaries with the world, and potentially become a New York Times bestseller in the process, but even my delusions of grandeur took a step back at that thought and said, “Woah, slow down there. Let’s focus on more attainable things, like world domination and having gold statues in your likeness towering over major cities”.

There will no doubt be days, like today, that go a bit awry and leave me wanting my daily post to be a stream of expletives, and I’ll try my best to avoid that. No promises.

Ultimately, this should be a fun exercise in posting regularly, to the extreme. Even if that arbitrary goal of twenty short stories before this is over will probably put me in an early grave.

In closing, I’m almost certain I’ll wake up tomorrow morning and think “Oh, shit, what have I gotten myself into?” Especially since I’m in the mindset where I spent a lot of today thinking it was Tuesday, and I’m certainly not a time-traveler. Too late now. Ninety-nine days remaining!