My laptop returned home today, and the actual problems were far worse than initially thought. Instead of my graphics card being dead, it was apparently a bad motherboard and hard drive disk. The BestBuy employee asked if I had an unexpected power outage or something, but it was just my laptop very suddenly and violently shitting the bed. Yikes.
Thanatos has been renamed Wheatley because 1) it better fits the Portal and Portal 2 themed names I have for my Surface 2 (Aperture Surface) and my desktop (GLADESKTOP) and 2) it’s a more fitting name given how derp my laptop has been so soon. I’m not looking forward to resurrecting all of the files from my external hard drive, and I’m fairly certain I lost a couple short stories and other projects forever. Like my forever-backburnered first episode of the Misadventures in Podcasting podcast.
As a quick aside: it’s very difficult to type when a small kitten keeps hopping onto the couch and dancing across my laptop keyboard. She wandered back into the living room just as I was typing that and did it again. Precious little bundle of mischief.
Anyway, time to get moving on this. I’ve got my standard Monday headache, like clockwork.
Day Twenty-Seven – Finding time for writing versus making time for writing
These past few weeks have not been great for me getting shit done. I’ll be the first to admit that, and it’s not a point of pride. At all. I know a large part of it is how (badly) I manage my time, which should be no surprise to anyone, really, at this point.
There’s plenty of excuses I could make, too, what with the 40+ hour a week job, other obligations, and trying to juggle blogging and creative writing, but that feels like the lazy way out. I’ve been trying to avoid the lazy way out since the start of this year, as it’s not really conducive to getting work done at all. I realize just how obvious that statement is after typing it, but I’m not backpedaling now for fear I’ll not come up with something better to put. And because Marceline the Kitten Queen might start dancing at my keyboard at any second, and I’d rather not have to fix more than I would have to anyway. Back to the topic.
My problem is I’m finding time for writing. I know this. Instead of saying “I’m going to take from [time here] to [later time here] for writing purposes, and that’s what I’m going to do”, I’ve been approaching it as “I need to sit down and write something”. That’s not the right approach. That’s turning something I love to do, and that I’m very passionate about, and turning it into a chore of sorts. Something that needs to be completed, not something that I should want to work on. It’s something I’ve been noticing, especially as I am only a little over a quarter through the madness that is my One Hundred Days of Blogging (better known as How Did This Seem Like a Good Idea to Me Ever?!). I imagine that was a big part of why, especially last year, I would hit points where I would get extremely frustrated with myself for not accomplishing much in the way of writing. It resulted in me creating unrealistic goals, and then failing to meet them, which only frustrated me further. It was a vicious, miserable cycle, filled with unachieved goals, swearing, self-loathing, and poor decisions, and it’s the sort of thing I don’t need to have happen again.
I need to start making time for writing instead of finding time. Sadly, I have yet to invent a machine that can actually manufacture time for me to use as I’d like, and so this means I need to start making better use of the time I do have for writing purposes instead. Not necessarily the easiest task, but it’s certainly a worthwhile one. It’s part of why I’m planning to try getting back to my crazy marathons of writing. It can’t be something I force, though, but I’m happy to say I have a few ideas that really want attention. Just a matter of time before my natural craziness takes hold and serious writing happens, hopefully.
Speaking of worthwhile tasks: I need to write up a video game and booze pairings thing. Someone showed me a pop (or soda, if you must) and Burger King pairings menu, and it made me feel like a booze-and-video-games pairings list needed to be made.
This topic will be revisited at a point where I don’t have a blinding headache rolling around the right side of my skull. God damn it.
Seventy-three days remaining.