Author Archives: fictionalpenguin

Still living out of boxes and bags

Posted on by under General Bloggity Stuff

I’m officially moved in and renting like a proper twenty-something with a degree.  I’ve been officially moved in since the 16th of last month, but it’s been a very busy couple of weeks in a number of ways.  To be fair, this is the first time I’ve really up and moved anywhere beyond the to-and-from of college, and it’s been an experience to say the least.

Central Pennsylvania is absolutely beautiful.  I mean this in the scenic, could-be-on-postcards sense.  I think that’s what makes the trip between Pittsburgh and here so tolerable.  Lots of mountains and trees and so on.

What I’d like to say is I waited to post until I could boast I survived my very first rent payment.  This is partially true.  It’s more of a “I’m still adjusting to the new location, both in terms of living situation and job” thing, really.  This post is really just an excuse to write again, because I’ve been doing a lot of joking about how I’m doing such a great job lately of making use of my higher education in writing by doing no writing at all.  I could list the excuses of being tired and busy and so on, but I can’t really consider those valid excuses at this point in time.

Oh.  And I’m still looking out for any eccentric billionaires who would like to make me extraordinarily wealthy on some impossible to explain personal whim.  Any takers?  No?  Worth a shot.

Unwanted, previously unplanned, hiatus

Posted on by under General Bloggity Stuff, Posts of a Rant-like Nature

Life lessons, I’ve found, are the sort of things that sneak upon me, tap me on the shoulder, then hit me over the head with large, usually blunt, objects.  Sometimes I come away from such events with a fresh, new view on some aspect(s) of my life.  Or a greater appreciation for what I have.

And sometimes I go away from them understanding why I have developed a taste for single barrel whiskey.

For instance: moving out for the first time since going to college is actually a pretty involved and taxing process.  It could be that way because I have spent a fairly substantial amount of time at work, which gave me enough leisure time to eat and sleep in less-than-equal measure (spoilers: a three hour nap between shifts does not constitute a full-night’s rest).

Short version: I’m pretty well burned out from taking on weird, longer-than-expected shifts at work and trying to pack my stuff up for moving it two hours east.  Not a huge move, but let’s all take a moment to consider how I am made up of 10% planning and 90% crippling neuroses.  I would say 25,000% neuroses, one for each year I have been alive, but I’m told by people with a higher-than-my-basic grasp of mathematics you can’t actually exceed 100%.  Which is horseshit.  Moving along…

I’m forcing myself to take an official hiatus until my move happens and I’m at least somewhat settled in.  From there, and getting my new schedule, I’m going to work on making time for actual, proper writing, instead of excusing myself for choosing sleeping over creating (when it could have been the other way around, really).  Through the magic of scheduling posts, this should be appearing on the 12th.  My laptop will, at that point, be two hours away from me because I don’t feel like hauling it back and forth one more time when I will be needing all the space I can use in my car.  It will provide invaluable insulation to keep in the streams of expletives I will no doubt be spewing by the time I reach the seventy-mile line of traffic leading to the Squirrel Hill Tunnels (and if you have ever driven the Parkway East or West in/around Pittsburgh, during any point near rush hour, you are probably nodding in agreement because A TWO LANE HIGHWAY THROUGH A MAJOR CITY IS AND WILL ALWAYS BE A SHITTY IDEA).

Thanks to my regular reader(s) for their patience, apologies to newcomers who might think I’m the flakiest writer in the blogosphere (and can we all just agree that’s a terrible word, because it is), and hopefully I won’t manage to drive off the road in a way that ends in a Michael Bay-esque explosion during my actual move this Friday.

Next post, after this one, should arrive from historical Hollidaysburg.  Unless I decide to post something from my phone between then and now, effectively making this line into a lie.  Potentially scandalous content?  Who knows.

The Good, the Bad, and the Additional Misadventures

Posted on by under General Bloggity Stuff, Misadventures in Non-Fiction

First and foremost, I’d like to take a moment to celebrate how the next four days are my own little mini-vacation.  Mini-cation?  Whatever.  The important take-home point is I don’t have to work the next four days.  Huzzah!  A recap of my recent misadventures, and some more writing-related stuff (which coincides with a lot of boring, non-writing stuff, I’m afraid).

First, we have the Good.  Finally, after much scheduling and rescheduling hijinks on my part, I’ve interviewed Hello, The Future about her album Giant Robot Album, which is kind of a big deal.  The album far more so than the interview.  I’ll be making a post surrounding that, which can be expected by some point on Monday.  That way I can do the post justice.  And still manage to cater to having a house full of guests.  The house full of guests is part of another good thing, however, since it’s a bunch of relatives here for the express purpose of celebrating my not-so-recently married cousin’s wedding (reception).

The Bad…Last week, I worked seventy-eight and a half hours.  Overall, I worked sixteen days straight.  These are things I was not quite prepared for, though I do have serious doubts there is an effective way to prepare for such things.  Some days I worked nine hours.  Some I worked over sixteen.  Mostly, I ended up completely burnt out, which isn’t really productive for someone who is both trying to be creative.  Or pack everything he owns for a move that is rapidly approaching.  I also had to have my dog Missy put to sleep this past Wednesday, which was, and still is, extremely painful.  There’ll be a post to follow this one in which I get a bit emotional and miss my puppy.

Thankfully, things seem to be calming down to the point where I can at least start trying to plan out uses for time other than working and sleeping (today, by the way, was spent finishing an overnight shift, sleeping, and then working again, so that doesn’t count).  I should clarify that I’m very happy to have a decent-paying job with all the benefits it comes with, as I’m aware I am indeed fortunate in that sense.

In any event, at least I didn’t accidentally fall off of the planet or something.  I’m sure I’ll manage that at some point later.

I’m not actually dead, I promise

Posted on by under General Bloggity Stuff

I just seem to have fallen off of the face of the planet because I sort of did for a bit there, and it was mostly because I have (pause for dramatic effect) burned myself out quite thoroughly.

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to participate in Relay for Life, and it was an entirely spectacular experience.  Alternatively, I also worked a seventeen hour shift not that long ago and I am still, in fact, recovering from it.

Basically, I need to let myself slowly revive because I can’t produce anything when I have no creative drive whatsoever.  It seems like a really obvious thing there until you’re trying to ignore that problematic bit of information by, say, insisting on continuing a very work-heavy project while putting in around 50 hours a week.

The plan from here: Short Story a Week will receive a reboot at a point I’ll figure out later.  Since it’s being rebooted, it will start back at Story Number 1, which is painful to think about right now.  However, it was an amazingly fun challenge until everything suddenly went belly-up and starting stinking of failure, so I stand by my desire to make that happen.

The interview with a musician has been postponed (clearly) because of scheduling difficulties, in that I apparently retained nothing from my brief stint as a journalist..

Oh, and then there’s the whole “working on getting ready to move out on my own for the first time” thing going on in August, when I’m moving to Hollidaysburg.  Exciting stuff.

However, I have had a dreadful, awful, miserable bad day today, and so I am due for some Netflix and Animal Crossing: New Leaf therapy.

Catching up at my own rate

Posted on by under General Bloggity Stuff, Short Story a Week

I feel a bit lazy admitting this, though I feel that could be laziness misplaced by my not feeling like writing today, but the Short Story backlog will probably grow a little more.  Just a little.  There’s a bottle of bourbon and a shiny new copy of Animal Crossing New Leaf calling out my name, and my day off has very politely requested, in the form of perpetual sleepiness, that it is a day off of everything.  And so it goes, right?

However, I am not without good news.  Far from it, in fact.  I have decided, in the spirit of at least keeping my Short Story a Week project news kind of up-to-date, to share the topics.  I know.  News of earth-shattering importance, of course.

The short story from two weeks ago (I know, I’m doing rubbish) is tentatively titled “The Feeling of Falling” and takes place on an orbital colony built in the heart of Jupiter’s massive, never-ending hurricane.  The other missing short story is about an AI who becomes self-aware, then speaks out on the news about how he (and his fellow self-aware computers) just want to fit in.

I also have another something on the way that I won’t announce beforehand (I know, that’s really awful of me, but the wait will be completely worth it).  I will admit it’s an interview with someone who happens to be a musician, and I am truly happy to have such an opportunity to feature it here.  The rest will have to wait until some point next week.

With that all being said, I have a bottle of 1792 Ridgemont Reserve waiting impatiently.

Oh, and one other thing before I forget: for those of you who haven’t, it’s a pretty good idea to go check out Full Blown Cranium’s debut album, “Cacophony of Weirdos”.  Click here, then follow the respective iTunes or Amazon links.  If you’re not fully convinced this is a great idea simply by me saying it is, check out the previews of each song (available on iTunes; possibly on Amazon, but I don’t actually use Amazon Music so I can’t say for sure).  I could have just as easily linked to the iTunes and Amazon stores respectively, but I also whole-heartedly recommend checking out Eric’s blog as well.

New stories soon (I promise), an AWESOME interview with an artist who will be revealed then so you can go buy even more great music, and more of my usual shenanigans, because without my misadventures this page would just be “in Fiction”, and that’s not as catchy.

 

More misadventures in non-fiction, self-reviving, and so on

Posted on by under General Bloggity Stuff, Misadventures in Non-Fiction

I’m two weeks behind, technically, on my Short Story a Week project.  Again.  I say technically because I have the stories, and they’re pretty well fleshed out in terms of their ideas.  I just need to write them.

Worthy of noting at this point: I worked approximately 100 hours between last week and the week prior, and so I’m  still recovering a bit.

As for the misadventures in non-fiction?  This past Thursday, after my 2p.m. to 10p.m. shift, I stopped by my house and packed some things up, stopped by my place of work again to fuel up the car, and then I embarked on my very first major highway trip.  To put this into perspective, I have only driven on the highway twice before.  Once was on Black Friday, in 2012, as a cruel joke played on me by my driving instructor, who prefaced the outing by asking if I was feeling adventurous.  I was not, and did not appreciate where things where going at that point, but I clearly didn’t do too badly in the sense that I didn’t crash.  The second time I drove on the highway was a practice run, with my stepfather, and that went relatively well in the sense that most of the trip involved me driving well.  My initial merging onto the highway, however, was absolute shit and something I’m not particularly proud of.

The actual trip was quite enjoyable.  Traveling from western Pennsylvania to central-ish Pennyslvania involved a fair bit of mountains, and a lot of very nice landscapes.  If I weren’t more concerned with the destination, I may have taken time to stop, appreciate the scenery, and take pictures, but that’s still a possibility.

Driving home today to handle an eight hour shift at work, however, was far less exciting.

Stories will be arriving between Wednesday and Friday, only for the sake of making sure I do them justice, and I should be back on track for this upcoming Sunday.  So that’s a plus.

Some misadventures in non-fiction

Posted on by under Misadventures in Non-Fiction

I’m going to just go ahead and say this week’s post will be delayed, because it evolved into something bigger than it should have.

Oh, and I worked twenty-three and a half hours between yesterday and today, and I’m also in the process of celebrating not dying or killing anybody by drinking half a bottle of wine.  Yes, you read that right.  Half a bottle.  No, this isn’t a regular thing.  In my defense, it’s Moscato, which I’m told is Italian for “liquid candy that produces great happiness” and not “wine you should be enjoying in moderation.”  So at least I have that going for me at this point in time.

Speaking of time, and not in the Doctor Who sense (well, maybe a little), tonight marks the fifteenth anniversary of the tornado that hit Mount Washington* (located in scenic Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, where I have lived all my life in some capacity or another).  To commemorate that, I will share the story of how my grandmother nearly died in the previously mentioned tornado, and how my stepfather and I made the remarkably bad decision to try driving to the site of a major storm to pick up my grandma and great aunt.

My Grandma Betty was very fond of watching storms.  When she lived at her house in Mount Washington, she would sit out on her porch to enjoy them.  Later in life, when she had moved in with my mom, stepdad, sister, and me, she continued this tradition via the two skylights in her bedroom, an entire section of the house we had added on for her.  Today, fifteen years ago, my grandmother sat out on her porch with a paper plate loaded with Lay’s Classic Potato Chips.  And she watched.  Eventually, or so say some of her neighbors who had looked out, the chips started swirling around in a circle on the plate.  The winds were getting worse, and the rain was coming down quite heavily, so my grandmother made her way to the front door.  She pulled the screen door open, only to have it slammed shut by the gale force winds.  She tried a second time, only to be met with the same results.  Finally, I’m told, she braced herself between the screen door and the larger, heavier storm door, got it opened, and made her way inside.

The porch roof dipped, collapsing completely on the one side moments later.  I still get chills thinking about that now.  She retrieved my great aunt Renee and went down to the basement.

Meanwhile, I was kneeling on one of the living room couches, watching the pitch-dark clouds drift lazily across the sky.  I still remember how the streetlights were on and everything seemed so surreal, and that’s when my stepfather asked me if I wanted to go see if Grandma Betty (my mother’s mother; I suppose I could have clarified this point sooner, but I have now so that works as well) and Aunt Renee were okay.  I agreed, more than eager to have a visit with my grandmother.  And, of course, I thought I’d get to see a real tornado, up close and personal.  I was not a very bright child.

As my stepfather drove, the sky grew darker the closer we got to Mount Washington.  That didn’t deter us, though.  We were adventurers, braving the elements to rescue two little old ladies in distress.  What could possibly go wrong?  It took arriving at a police barricade for the right thoughts to click in the right way in our heads.  I remember looking to my stepdad and saying, “Maybe this wasn’t such a great idea.”

My favorite bit to tell, however, is this part.  We had a lovely above-ground swimming pool at my grandmother’s house.  I had a lot of great times in that pool, and also one time I jumped onto a raft that flipped over and nearly drowned my wild and crazy self.  The tornado picked up our entire cinder block garage, moved it about ten or so feet back, and deposited it onto the swimming pool.  Save for the garage door, though; to this day, nobody knows where the hell that ended up.

It’s weird to think back on all of this, especially since it still feels like a painful length of time too long since my grandmother (and great aunt) passed away.  On those nights I’m home and it’s storming, I make it a point to lay down on the floor in the back room.  No lights on.  Just the occasional flashes of lightning to illuminate the room and the sounds of the rain against the skylights mixed with the rumbles of thunder.

*As of when I started writing it, mind you.